It happens without noticing

It happens every year. In January or February, I want to start planning for next year's school and my garden and my summer. But I feel so burdened by the stuff around me holding me down. I feel inefficient and ineffective. I start reorganizing, cleaning and reprioritizing. It's a labor of love and it feels so freeing. For several years I looked at this occurance as a pattern of failure. I'm not good at keeping up on my house and let it get out of control. I'm more materialistic than I realize and allow us to collect too much stuff. I'm not focussed enough on hommaking and making our home a reflection of Christ. Then I started seeing more to the pattern.

This pattern of seeing all the things in my home that need thrown away and working on my un-organized school happens to me year after year in January & February. I don't do resolutions for the New Year, so why the push in January? I've decided that it has so much more to do with Lent than with January being a new year.

By the time Lent comes, I've usually gotten things to a place where I can ignore my surroundings (because it's not in my way) and focus on the interior things holding me back. The sacrifices of Lent aren't so hard, because the exterior of my life has more order. The exterior chaos in my life has quieted, so I can listen to the interior chaos and allow Him to give me rest & peace. After just going through the pattern of seeing the dis-ordered places in my life and making them ordered, it isn't as difficult to look at the sin in my life, the dis-ordered parts of me, and allowing God to put them in His order through the help of the Holy Spirit and coming to Him in Reconciliation. I don't see my sin as a monster I can't control, but an opportunity to come home to Him. Not a seperation I can never breach, but His hand held out to me to draw me close and give me His peace, His order.

I'm AMAZED that God uses this same pattern in other people's lives, too! A sister on the Oro Et Laboro board noticed this January pattern, too. The fact that we can see these patterns says to me that God is faithful in our lives and is really allowing us to live out, even in our interiror lives, the ebb and flow of His liturgical year. I had wanted to live by His order, but didn't know how. I made an effort, but didn't know how to internalize it. So many people looked so much more faithful than I felt. All I could do was try and live out the liturgical year externally - and try to give my children the chance to internalize God's order. All I can do is all I can do and that is to continue to try, even in the face of my failings. In the face of my not being a good enough house keeper, he has cleared the way to make my path straight - straight to Him and who He made me to be. The ebb and flow of the liturgical year is a beautiful thing to live out. He is the "order" in electron patterns. He is the "order" in the change of seasons and He is the "order" in our lives. (Like, we say it -- but it's so cool to see it!)

Homeschooling, the old fashioned way

We've been catching up in school. I wasn't behind, but we weren't where I wanted to be. So, I've been trying to get us caught up. The kids, as usual, have been fine with the work load - I'm the one struggling. Last night I started feeling better from my cold, but didn't get around for writing lesson plans for the week. So...today we played with the Spanish & Health collections of books I got from the wonderful, God-bless-it, library (I just love those people and keep them in my prayers.) I had the girls work through the scientific method of their upcoming science fair projects. (Since I put off the registration and it was due TODAY. Remember what happened with the poetry contest deadline?) They didn't do the experiment, but wrote up their titles, their objective, what they were measuring, a list of needed materials, a brief procedure list of what they're experiment entails, and what they think will happen. They each wrote them out on separate wipe-off boards. Then they had to collect as much of the materials as they could so we could make a shopping list. To accomplish this we had a "business meeting" with Daddy. Dave had us put him on speaker phone, so we could all confer about how best to accomplish this using true science - not just Jenn's twisted idea of what I wish science was like. Between the 2 girls, that took a portion of the day (while I did dishes, etc). So we spent hours on just a few subjects. It sure put the fun back in school, today! Well...I had fun.

Winter Weather

This morning, the kids wanted to call the weather man. On speakerphone he said -2 with a windchill of -27. It's been pretty windy. Dh made all the girls wear pants to Mass, yesterday (Sunday). They were EXTREEMELY upset and felt underdressed, even though most in our parish wear pants. On Sunday, they're just used to wearing their "best." He wouldn't let any of the kids go outside to play, either. I would have said through my laughter, "If you really WANT to...but you'll be back inside SOOON." He's such an insurance man at heart- always looking out for what might happen. He's also a GREAT Dad looking out for everyone's best interest - like not freezing their noses off!

This morning, our heater couldn't keep up with the cold. It's set at 67, but it was 65 when we woke up. 63 by the time I finished a long and often interuppted rosary. The kids had hissy fits when I told them to wear sweatshirts and socks, today! I called Dave for advise and he suggested we bake today. Well, we LOVE to bake!! He also wanted me to close all the curtains. I LIKE the curtains open! I've had a cold, but thankfully all the kids are well right now so we just bundled up and cleaned (to fast music) and baked. We do have one space heater. Within about 3 hours the house was back up to 67. I can't imagine people where there houses have less resources! Jesus, we give you these small sacrifices and ask you to be with and ease the burden of those who must make large sacrifices today.

How can I homeschool when.... my kids don't listen to me?

Q: What if my children don't "listen" to me in terms of school?? Goodness, today was such a whine-filled day that I thought, "How in the world am I going to guide their education when DD throws a fit if I ask her to put away her shoes??" I get these panicky moments of fear in which I imagine my children grousing about the house with me alternately yelling and pleading with them to finish their work...Or does this in fact happen and it's OK because the good days outweigh the bad??


A: My favorite resource is "You're a Better Parent Than You Think" by Dr. Ray Guarendi. His books are so down-to-earth and funny that I always feel empowered after reading him. I also like “Disciple That Lasts a Lifetime” which is just common sense and easy to implement.

I've also found that my kids, eventually, actually behave better during school time than non-school time.

• They know our routine and what to expect next. Along with this goes the understanding that giving directions and communicating expectations to children is an art in itself and something that needs worked on regularly – for sure I need to work on it all the time.


• They know they'll be busy and engaged. I do not promise big-time fun. I try to make the learning enJOYable, but learning can be hard work. They will enjoy it if they choose to. Some kids just like something to whine about and nothing will ever be perfect.


• They know they'll be getting alot of attention from me. Unless of course, they’re in time-out in their room, which also happens a lot at our school.


• They know that a good school day is often rewarded with "family time" (games, read-alouds,etc.) A bad day is rewarded by…NOT family time.


• I also insist on more discipline during school time (I'm a slacker-mom during non school time). The kids know that "we're doing school" is a very concrete change from regular life and consequences for negative behavior are swift & sure.

You have to take your child into account in everything you do. Some children coming home to school may need a firmer hand and more consistent discipline than they got in school. I know I couldn’t consistently discipline 28 kids for 6 hours a day – nor would I want to!! At home, you can tailor the consequences to your child. What is most affective for one child (taking away sweets) would be a joke to another child (who couldn’t live without piano). You know your child. You can get to know them better as you school together. One of my children needed a gentle and sensitive spirit upon coming home to school so she felt re-empowered to accomplish what she thought she was bad at. One child may need taught that doing poorly in so-and-so class doesn’t define you – nor does what what’s-her-face said on the playground.

Along with the pep-talk of "you can do this", is the revelation that I am a ROTTEN disciplinarian when I'm pregnant, overcommitted or stressed. I'm just too distracted, tired and emotional to even make a good stab at it. After my babies are born, or I get out of some of my commitments, or I ease the stress in my life in some way, the kids fall in line because I become myself again. If God has called you to homeschool, it's His JOB to give you the grace to accomplish it. Take heart. You can do this.

Never quit, never quit, nev....

Yup. I've got it. I'm sick. (Here's me whining like my kids) "I reeeeeealllly wanted to do 30 day shopping and cooking this weekend...." Last night I made a quick trip to the dollar store and was planning on hitting Wal-mart after that. I was too tired and couldn't make it. I guess this will be a sit-on-the-couch-and-watch-This Old House-weekend.

Yesterday, Dd#1 made lunch & the side for dinner. Dd#2 is still grounded from the kitchen for using the microwave without asking. Dd#2 is the first kid in the kitchen. She loves to "cook" creatively. The mess, the wasted ingredients - it all gets to me. However, Dd#2 is fairly good at it, as she is most everything - just overly eager, as she is everything. Dd#2 is a 'follow the recipe exactly' kind of girl. She's like her mama (who doesn't always follow the recipe but is lost without one).

Then, Dd#1, taught the boys to do the dishes. What a wonderful girl for a sick Mama. However...

They broke my baking stone. All the while I'm thinking how much I didn't want to have to buy a new stone. I wanted to buy things that I want, not what I need. But, now I need a new stone. Yeah, yeah, yeah...I'm having a PamperedChef party...whatever. Dd#1 cried. "Don't cry, honey. It's just a thing, and you're so much more important than a thing." All this could pass away...her help and effort and self-image are so much more important than anything else.

Homemaking Meme

Before we begin, you should know that I basically suck at this stuff.
Aprons – Y/N?
No, mostly I wear sweats & sweatshirt and walk around dirty just from eating.
Baking – Favorite thing to bake:
Chocolate Chip Cookies!! Honestly, cookies of any kind. Then, there's homemade cheesecake. Martha Stewart has a killer one that's way worth the extra ingredients. I LOVE BAKING!
Clothesline – Y/N?
No, it seems like we have so much laundry, things would NEVER get done if I had to hang it out. Dd#1 has been doing a GREAT job this year with laundry as her weekly job. In the winter, we have at least 15 loads, and I'm able to keep the house cleaner since she's taken over laundry. Also, I like how soft the dryer gets things.
Donuts – Have you ever made them?
Hello! It's BAKING! I don't love them, but they're edible. Duncan Donuts ROCKS, though. Unfortunately, we have to drive almost 30 minutes across town to get to the only one, here.
One homemaking thing you do every day:
Pick up books - It's about the only thing I can't stand to see on the floor. They're BOOKS!
Freezer – Do you have a separate deep freeze?
OH, YEAH! This was my Christmas present from Dave a few years ago. I'd been begging for one, but he kept saying it's not like we have a big family, we've just got 4 kids. My s-i-l finally got on his case, THANK YOU, SANDI! I asked for a big red bow on it - that didn't happen. I thought it was a pretty romantic gift anyway - well, not actually romantic, but a WAY good gift.
Garbage Disposal – Y/N?
Yes, but I'm not allowed to put anything down it per the plumber who had to come out 2-3 times a year for the first 2 years we lived here.
Handbook – What is your favorite homemaking resource?
Jesus. I know, it sounds so cliche. But when I get desperate enough about something, then I finally remember to ask for His help. Then I start asking around to all my friends. Through their help and His ability to bring just the right person to advise me (it's kind of like a superpower He has), it gets figured out. I suppose after that it would have to be 30 Day Gourmet. That has helped my home more than any one thing I can think of by freeing up my time.
Ironing – Love it or hate it?
Dd#1 or Dave does all of it. It's not that I don't notice the wrinkles - I just don't care. I figure that it's clean, what more do you want?
Junk drawer – Y/N? Where is it?
Believe it or not my drawers are pretty well organized. I can't keep any of my surfaces clean (like my desk, the buffet...) but it feels like lying to clean off a surface by shoving stuff in a drawer. So the hidden parts of my life are fairly well organized - it's the parts that everyone sees that are a mess. So...what does that really say about me????
Kitchen: Design & Decorating?
I love copper in a kitchen. I also like slate blue & butter yellow together, but I have yet to accomplish that in kitchen decor. Now if I had DISHES those colors, I'll bet I could get my kitchen those colors (I have a thing for dishes). My other favorite colors are muted sage green & off white. Presently my kitchen is taupe with white edging. I like it. The dark cabinets will have to go...someday. P.S. My husband installed ceramic tile -- I don't like it.
Love: What is your favorite part of homemaking?
Throwing parties. A lot of homemaking goes into getting ready for one -- but I love parties!
Mop - Y/N?
It's a kid job, 1 time per week, unless we're going to have a party.
Nylons - Wash by hand or in the washing machine?
I don't own any. (When I did it was washing machine - because if something can't take the washer or dishwasher, it doesn't belong in my house). I bought knee-high black boots at Wal-mart a few years ago and that's what I wear under my skirts to church in winter. In summer, I wear sandles without hose.
Oven - Do you use the window, or open the door to check?
Open the door. The kids love the window, though and stand by the oven for 20 minutes waiting for the cookies to be done.
Pizza - What do you put on yours?
As many veggies as they can pile on. Or taco pizza - with lot's of sour cream.
Quiet - What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?
Read
Recipe card box - Y/N?
Yes, 3-ring binder for 30-day, lots of cookbooks, and the web. None of the organization works well for me, though. I think I'll have to print my own cookbook with lots of extra pages for new recipes.
Style of house -
Greek Revival - "Tara, I've come home!" It sure doesn't look like that on the inside, though!
Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N?
Paper napkins & we only use tablecloths for parties - did I mention I love parties?
Under the kitchen sink - Organized or toxic wasteland?
Fairly well organized. It falls under the junk drawer post above.
Vacuum - How many times per week?
Do I have to answer this? Mostly we vacum before we have a party. The floor has to be picked up completely (not just books off the floor) and that doesn't happen every day. I guess that's something I could work on.
Wash - How many loads of laundry do you do a week?
Winter - 15-20 / Summer ~10. Summer clothes are smaller and more fits in the washer. The kids probably change their clothes more in summer, though.
X's - Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off?
Yes, but I loose my list all the time.
Yard - Who does what?
Dave does most of the lawn work. I help with the beds and the garden, he does all the big jobs.
Zzz's - What is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?
Putting my evening lap project (crochet, books for lesson plans, knitting...) away so the kids to rip it all apart the next morning.

Sick winter days er week

I think I have a fever. I was really hot and all of a sudden it got really cold. I guess my passion that I'd have to be confined to bed before I'd quit is working on the computer. It doesn't sound nearly as creative as piano or intellectual as reading (my 2 Dds' passions). Dave took this picture a few days ago. I guess my back is what he sees more of than he'd wish - NOT a pretty picture and that long hair HAS GOT TO GO! (Don't feel too sorry for him, he's just waiting for me to get off the computer so he can get on...I know the truth.)

Wow! Typing is way easier than talking!!

This morning's Mass was for my dad. I dragged the sick kids (and dragged the well kids that didn't want to go) and Dave went willingly and helped me do the dragging and we went to 8:15am Mass. It was lovely. As a reward, I made eggs, hash browns & waffles for breakfast when we got home.

This morning on the phone a friend told me my voice sounded scratchy. I AM NOT GETTING SICK. I have too much to do. Then I started to wear out and I quit thinking about running to the dollar store for clear shoe box bins for my craft center. Then I got hot. I cancelled my obligations for tomorrow morning and rescheduled my obligations for Friday night. Then I quit feeling like talking. I'm ready to settle in for a winter's sewing project. I found Tapestry Crochet. It looks pretty easy. I enlarged this design from one of my favorite free clip-art places, Two-Hearts Design, and transferred the design onto a flat grid suggested in the above book. (They have it on the free yahoo groups files if you join). That's my plan. I still had kids to get through the afternoon - some of whom were getting quite rowdy with their new-found health.

Dave helped me get them all to Mass this morning. *Thank you, God!* For school, I had the girls do Math (just an M-U-S worksheet) and Science (read a book & do a book report from one of the many we got from the library Wednesday). Then they read a bible story to the boys who colored lovely pictures of it from this reproducible book that I just LOVE because it has pages for some of the more obscure stories - well, obscure to me. (It's worth the $$ to not waste minutes that turn into hours looking for bible coloring pages). I allow the kids to color a picture of the story in lieu of a narration when they're too sick or I am (or when I'm too busy....it's a great fill-in). I had the girls lead the boys in Simon-Says Calisthenics. Once everyone seemed reasonably worn out, I turned on the Sound of Music. It's not exactly educational TV, but somehow I feel so good about them watching it.

A lovely homeschool friend offered to send dinner over, but it would have been so difficult for her at 4pm, so Dave brought home subway. He's been loosing weight, lately, by exercising and eating lots of subway. On the way home from church this morning, Ds#4 said, "Daddy, you just missed a Subway!" as we drove past. I think he thinks Daddy stops at one every time he sees them.

I'm sure, Dave will also put them to bed tonight. I put his name in red because he's such a sweetheart.